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10 Ways to Have Better Sex
Spice things up between the sheets
Sometimes, for one reason or another, there’s a distinct lack of fireworks in the bedroom. You run hot when your partner runs cold, wires get crossed, signals get mixed, people get bored or tired… the list can go on and on, and the problem can seem bigger and bigger, unless you do something about it. But where do you begin?
Great sex doesn’t just happen by snapping your fingers. (Oh, if only…) But it also can’t happen without acknowledgment and decisive action. Colin Christopher, a clinical hypnotherapist who helps couples work through such relationship issues, offers these tips for people looking to reconnect and add some serious heat to their sex lives.
1. Stop focusing on sex.
The problem might not be physical, but rather a lack of emotional connection. Engage in activities that focus on building up the emotional bond. Sex was so good in the beginning of your relationship because the emotional connection was so strong.
2. Do something wild together.
Ride a rollercoaster with your partner, go skydiving or bungee jumping. The excitement and adrenaline rush will get you hot for each other.
3. Have a different kind of date night.
If your usual date night consists of a movie and dinner, been there, done that. Take her back to where the two of you met and tell her how much you love her. Take her back to where you proposed and ask her to marry you again. Go to the local carnival and act like two teenagers in love.
4. Recognize that sex is not a sprint, but a marathon.
In our busy lives, sex is often put low down on the list of priorities and when many couples get to it, it’s over as fast as it began. Take your time and make it last. Try going at a slower pace and really build up to an explosive climax.
5. Utilize technology.
Send your partner a sexy email while he’s at work. Engage in sexting your partner if no one else is around. Just pick up the phone and call him for no reason.
6. But sometimes, you should forget about technology, too.
Social media and smartphones have made it more difficult for people to connect on an emotional level. Write a good, old-fashioned letter to your partner telling her how much you love her, how sexy she is, and how you plan to seduce her tonight.
7. Get creative with the “where.”
Sex isn’t just for the bedroom. Find other places in the house to have sex; do it in the car or a backyard, role play, experiment with sex toys and new positions. Just make it fun and exciting.
8. Focus on foreplay.
There’s a reason to engage in foreplay: it stimulates both partners’ sexuality, lowers inhibitions, and increases emotional intimacy.
9. Take a deep breath and relax.
Being relaxed leads to a stronger erection for men and increased sensations for women. Never put expectations on sex, just go with the flow and let it happen. Massage and tickle each other leading up to sex to lighten the mood.
10. Share what you really want.
Be honest and tell each other what you like, what works and what doesn’t, new positions or techniques you want to try. This level of sexual awareness will take your emotional and sexual relationships to new heights.